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Battle of the best of films.... 

9 deviants said Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
6 deviants said Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan




Enhanced-14020-1407861668-13 by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
An adventure which would lead to 65 billion in sales for marketing

To this day I still remember the first grown-up novel I read (almost said adult but realized that was as the Joker so eloquently put it, ‘A very poor choice of words’). It was a milestone as that book would go also go onto to become one of my favorite films, Jurassic Park. With Jurassic World coming out today (totally seeing it tonight!), I thought it was only fitting to review this very special film.

The film opens with us being told we’re on an island off of Costa Rica. Serious looking men are supervising the loading of some sort of crate into what looks like a pen for something nasty. Staring down the angry package is Robert Muldoon who is probably the only man who can still look serious and threatening in a pair of shorts with tall grandpa socks. I would be remiss in my job as a reviewer if I didn’t nitpick this whole loading process. While we don’t know it now, their loading a new Velociraptor into a pen with the rest of the alpha-uber predators and I have to ask…why isn’t it sedated? Especially with something as dangerous as a JP Raptor, one would think you’d knock that big reptile out. 

article-0-1B05E6C100000578-484 634x345 by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
You know, all those guys might have come in handy for events later in the film...

Anyway apparently InGen was a bit cheap when they built this place. I guess it’s less expensive to pay some guy to climb on top of the dinosaur crate, raise a gate into the pen, and then lower it-all while exposing themselves to so many OSHA violations-then having some sort of mechanical device do it. It probably doesn’t shock you that this whole complicated process goes horribly wrong. The poor gate-keeper (I guess that makes Muldoon the key-master) of course becomes a tasty nugget for the Raptor who only after the guy gets mauled for like three minutes is finally put down by gunfire.

Well despite this being Costa Rica, the family of that worker understands the classic American rule when in doubt, sue somebody! This prompts Gennaro, a lawyer working for the investors behind Jurassic Park, to begin an inspection of the entire operation. Why he has to go visit a amber mine in Latin America and then deliver this exposition to the foreman there is a bit beyond me. I guess Spielberg just wanted to have a cool shot where somebody shines light through some fossilized amber to show us the lovely parasite mosquito inside.

JP-Digsite by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen

That leads up to a more proper intro for one Dr. Alan Grant, our main protagonist and Paleontologist. For anyone who doesn’t know, that’s the fancy science name for those who dig up dinosaurs. Grant is in Montana where he’s excavating Velociraptors. I guess he must wowed by the fact that the Raptors are being found in Montana and not Asia which is where they are from. We’ll get this out of the way right now; the Raptors in the film should have been either Deinonychus or Utah-Raptor (which interestingly enough was discovered not long after Jurassic Park’s release). A real Velociraptor is actually quite small and while probably capable of ripping your face off, they aren’t the six foot tall dinos of the film.

Grant is paired with Ellie Slater who is a Paleobotanist, they digs up and study ancient plants…yeah not as cool as dinosaurs. Their using ground penetrating radar (or sonar) to scan some Raptor bones under the ground. We quickly learn two things about Grant, he doesn’t like technology all that much, and he doesn’t particularly enjoy kids. The latter is an interesting change from his character in the book. Obviously Paleontologists are going to deal with a lot of kids in their work, as well who do think likes dinosaurs more? (I’m taking myself out of the equation because I’d throw the data off).

His character change from the novel does lead to a good chance for Grant to put a stuck up kid in his place. I like the scene (not just because smuck kid gets what he deserves) because Grant here gives us a picture of what the dinosaurs of the film are going to be like; they’re fast, dangerous, and maybe even as clever as you. After making the little asshole piss his pants, it’s shown here that Ellie and Grant are seeing one another as she teases him about having kids (and guess what, Grant is right, kids do smell!). Their banter is interrupted by the arrival of a helicopter, whose rotor wash threatens the fossils. I like this scene a lot because it’s some nice foreshadowing, with the modern helicopter blasting away the past.

JP-VolunteerBoy by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
That's right you pooped your pants, we all know it.

Well it doesn’t take much for Grant to be pissed off, having dealt with asshole kids and stupid technology. He marches right into their trailer to confront the owner of the helicopter. Cue The Right Honorable (and yes that is his actual title) Richard Attenborough. He’s playing John Hammond whose character is a pleasant change from that in the novel. In the novel Hammond…well basically he is an asshole. He doesn’t see anything he’s done as being wrong. The man doesn’t learn any lessons from the events, mostly focused on being a standard issued asshole corporate type from the 1980s (he also gets eaten which I do approve of). I do prefer this more, kindly whimsical grandpa persona of Hammond presented in the film. Hammond is an imaginer with his head in the clouds.

Grant quickly stows his angry comments as it’s usually a good idea to not piss off the man funding your dig. Ellie too gets a quick education in this and Hammond lets them and us in on the story. This scene is part of the reason I made fun of Gennaro’s opening scene at the mine; we’re learning all we need to know here. If you want Gennaro to mention the lawsuit by the worker’s family, do it later when they’re on the island. Hammond in response to all this wants them to come check out his super-secret island, which I think if he wasn’t as kind as he comes off as in this scene (along with offering them a lot of money for their research) they’d probably pass. I mean how many rich guys with a mysterious secret island do you know that end up not being like totally evil? With Ellie and Grant happy it’s now time to meet our ‘villain.’

Hello Newman! Yes, Wayne Knight is here and he’s playing Dennis Nedry (also Nedry? I mean that’s probably the worst name to describe a character stereotype since General Grievous). Nerdy, I mean Nedry is apparently one of those disgruntled tech support guys. He’s setting up Jurassic Park’s computer systems and that makes him the perfect guy to do a bit of corporate espionage. Dobson, DOBSON HERE! works for a rival company to InGen. He gives Nedry some money and pseudo James Bond gadgetry in the form of a special product placement shaving can (which I can’t remember ever coming up in 1993 but is totally being played up for Jurassic World). Nedry’s job is to steal dinosaur embryos and he’s got a full proof plan which totally can’t possibly go wrong.

Helicopter-Ride-to-Jurassic-Park by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
I can't tell if Grant is air sick in this shot, or just bored...also is Hammond checking out Ellie's chest?

Nedry somehow gets to the island in a less cool method than our main characters, who are riding in with Hammond on a helicopter. Grant and Ellie are there, along with Gennaro. Seems while Hammond was picking up his dino experts the lawyer grabbed a mathematician. It’s not explained in the film really but in the novel, Ian Malcom was contracted to do some mathematical models on the park. He also served as Michael Crichton’s stand-in during the novel and shall do the same here (but fewer morphine rants thankfully). Malcom takes an interest in Ellie and Laura Dern in the film would be the only thing that might pull my interest from the dinosaurs (She might rival Amy Pond for that nickname ‘the legs’).

Jurassic-park-first-sighting by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Ellie and Grant upon watching Jurassic Park III

It’s soon made clear Hammond and Malcom have a history with Malcom chiding Hammond, while at the same time trying to hit on Ellie. We then get the grand intro to the island where John Williams’ larger than life score booms. The music in Jurassic Park is, in my opinion, is one of the things that add to the epic feel of the picture. I also enjoy the bit during this scene that has Grant demonstrating one of nice aspects of his character; solving his seatbelt problem by just taking the two wrong ends he had and tying them together. The group lands and soon heads out in jeeps (though nobody asked why there’s a T-Rex skeleton on the side, or why the park is called, Jurassic Park).  As they’re driving pass the massive fences and security locks, Gennaro threatens Hammond that if things do go well with their inspection he’ll shut the place down; of course that only lasts as long as it takes him to see a dinosaur. Grant and the audience are floored as we get to see one of the major reasons Jurassic Park was successful.

Edges jurassic 3 by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
HOLY MOTHER****ING S**T ITS A DINOSAUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Is what Grant would have said if this wasn't PG-13)

Spielberg initially had planned on doing the film with traditional stop motion animation along with Stan Winston (one of the gods of Hollywood effects) making animatronic dinosaurs. However Spielberg wasn’t thrilled with the stop motion work. That led to a meeting with ILM and their new computer generated imagery department. When they told Spielberg they could generate the dinosaurs using CGI, he dared them to prove it. They decided to do several shorts, one of the T-Rex walking along another of it chasing the Gallimimus, and Spielberg was sold. (For a great look at the behind the scenes stuff, check out the JP special features in the last DVD they released. Narrated by James Earl Jones! They spared no expense!)

Jurassic Park basically heralded the rise of CGI for all the good, and bad, that it has entailed for filmmaking. While other films had made use of CGI effects (one of the earliest being in Wrath of Khan) it was Jurassic Park that really brought it to the forefront. Even today after decades of development of computer technology the effects in the film still look quite good. I do like the amazement on everyone’s faces during these scenes (props to the actors who of course had to react to basically nothing), Grant unbelieving what he’s seeing, Malcom’s swearing in amazement, and Gennaro of course oozing over all the money they’re going to make.

At the Visitor Center Grant laments that he and Ellie will be out of a job (with Malcom joking to them using a line from the stop motion guys upon seeing the CGI work, ‘we’re extinct’). In what I must say is a quite a smart way to explain how the dinosaurs were brought back to life, the group watches a cartoon. Mr. DNA gives us the short version that mosquitoes and other blood sucking critters were around with dinosaurs. So obviously at some point they drank various dinosaurs’ blood. Some of those bugs got trapped in tree sap which then hardened into amber. Dig that amber up, get the gooey DNA inside from Mr. Mosquito and ta-da, you have a dinosaur. While the science of this has already been debunked, I shall note they are discovering that some soft tissues survive the fossilization process and could be used to get DNA (that’s right scientists I want my Jurassic World park to open…NOW!)

Gennaro gets his first safety violation to chide Hammond about when Grant, Ellie, and Malcom not caring for the whole Disney ride experience; push off the safety rail on their Carousel of Mad Science and go into the lab. Dr. Wu, the brains behind the mad science greets them along with the hatching of some dino eggs. It is here we get to see the first doubts of the hired experts. Wu explains that the dinosaurs can’t breed due to them all being female (what’s more dangerous, Wonder Woman’s island of Amazons or island of female dinosaurs?) and in a nice nod to his novel counterpart, casually mentioning it like it was nothing. This prompts Malcom to issue his famous line, ‘Life finds a Way’, as he explains that Hammond and Jurassic Park are expecting far more control over their creatures than is possible.  

Jurassic-park-henry-wu-bd-wong by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Out of all the big name actors in this scene, it's the guy from Law & Order SVU getting a role in Jurassic World

Grant however is far more concerned with the fact that Dr. Wu and his merry men have bred Raptors. The cute little baby Raptor is then replaced by the squeals (Dolphin ones if your curious) of the adult Raptors in their pen (which must I say looks comically small. Seriously I’d be pissed off and wanting to eat humans too if I had that little space to live in). Grant and the group get to me Muldoon who has as much love for Raptors as I do for
Star Trek: Nemesis. Muldoon explains some basics we need to know about the Raptors, their damn fast, damn smart, and generally assholes. Their appetite is also shown off as they rip a cow out of its harness, though we don’t get to see them in action as of yet (nice note here, all the Raptor sounds for the actors to listen to were provided by Spielberg making noises into a brown paper bag LOL).

Hammond, not having a sense of timing, asks everybody if they’re ready for lunch. The lunch scene is where we get the main philosophical debates of Jurassic Park- before all the dino munching mayhem begins. While Gennaro is floored over the whole park, Malcom and just about everyone else is less than thrilled. Malcom echoes a theme that was appearing in more films and books during the late 80s and early 90s, the dangers of genetic engineering. It’s ironic as probably the role Jeff Golboum is more known for than Ian Malcom, was his character in The Fly in which he suffered a little genetic mayhem.

He argues that Hammond’s people have used powerful technology without any consideration of the consequences of their actions. ‘You stood on the shoulders of geniuses and before you even knew what you had you patented it, packaged it, and now you’re selling it.’ This line from Ian is the closest to his views in the novel, where Hammond and the builders of Jurassic Park were far more in line with this idea. You can really pick up where Crichton (who helped write the screenplay) managed to get in the main argument he makes in the novel. Despite the scene, I don’t think the idea of InGen abusing the technology recklessly came across as well here in the film as it does in the novel.

Ellie points out that nobody really actually knows anything about dinosaurs. Which is basically true, while bones can tell us a lot of things, and I salute Paleontologists for what they have been able to learn; in the end we still know very little about these awesome organisms. Grant too takes this view, which of course flabbergasts Hammond. The old man though has one last trump card to play. He unleashes the ‘target audience’, Captain Picard’s and Grant’s greatest enemy…KIDS! Meet Lex and Tim, who break the usual film cliché of being annoying (at least to me). Interestingly their ages are flipped with Tim being the older one in the book. Of course they suddenly made Lex a ‘hacker’ for some reason so guess I should just not think that much about it. Actually the age flip works in my opinion, much like the changes made to Hammond’s character. In the novel you don’t get the feeling Hammond even cares about his grand-kids. He just brought them along to influence Gennaro and the others. In the film he’s actually happy to see them and cares about them.

The whole bunch gets together for the dinosaur tour where their cars follow a track built into the ground. With the tour beginning we get a look at the behind the scenes people who make Jurassic Park run. First is Sam Jackson. He’s playing Mr. Arnold the chain smoking computer supervisor who is pretty much annoyed the entire film. Stuck with trying to make all of Jurassic Park’s computer systems work, he is tired of the various delays in the system (maybe the mother#^(king dinosaurs too but it’s not made clear) caused by bugs and glitches. Hammond argues with Nedry for a bit, where we learn about his disgruntlement over what he’s being paid. Nerdy does take the time to check on his upcoming heist plan though news of an approaching tropical storm doesn’t affect him.

I find it interesting that Spielberg has gone for a bit of a Jaws approach in the first half of the film. He’s only teased the dinosaurs really. Sure we saw the Brachiosaurs and little Raptor, but the first half of the film is largely dinosaur lite. It builds up the expectation and makes our next dino reveals, one friendly one scary and awesome as it can be, more rewarding. Of course the characters though don’t know that as they are first disappointed by a shy Dilophosaurus and apparently a no-show T-Rex who even when offered goat, doesn’t show up. It’s during this time Malcom’s background is explained some more. He’s a chaos-tian, the short version; Chaos Theory basically says you can’t predict how things work. Hence why he knows Jurassic Park won’t work. It’s explained more in the book…endlessly.

Grant though isn’t going to put up with that mathematical crap because he can spot something going on out in a field. After finding another OSHA violation by unlocking the car and jumping out while its still moving; Grant leads everyone to find a sick Triceratops. This is the first of Stan Winston’s wonderful animatronics we see up close. It’s a pretty impressive design but the Trike does just kind of just lay there. While it’s cool to look at the Trike, this part of the movie is pretty much just designed to separate Ellie from the main group. The whole thing with the sick Trike doesn’t go anywhere (if you want the answer read the book-though there it’s a Stegosaurs).

Movies Jurassic Park 02 by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
That's right Ellie solve this mystery which is so important to the plot!

Muldoon confronts Hammond with the fact the tropical storm is going to hit them. Hammond reluctantly he calls back the tour, man can this day get any worse? While that is going on Nedry decides it’s now time for his one man Ocean 11 scheme to start. He has to balance his theft with how long the computer system can be disrupted without raising eyebrows, plus the fact that the boat he has to smuggle his James Bond shaving gear out is getting ready to leave. After the worst, ‘I’m totally not leaving to do anything bad’ lie to Arnold and the group; Nedry kicks his plan into action. Security systems start to shut down, first locks but then the electrical fences, you know those things keeping the killer dinosaurs locked away? As things start to shut off, Newman Super-Spy, steals the embryos though I hope he grabbed the right stuff because most of the dinosaur names here were misspelled (seriously I know it’s wrong of me to criticize anyone on their spelling but nobody checked that?)

jurassicpark BIG by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nedry steals a jeep and heads out into the park where the tour cars (how did those turn around BTW?) come to a stop as they shut down. We get a nice transition from Hammond asking where the cars stopped to the goat in the T-Rex pen. This probably is my favorite part of the movie. Not only is Tyrannosaurs Rex my favorite dinosaur, but the attack is done so damn well! From the slow thunder of the T-Rex approaching, the touching of the fence casually by its limb, to the way the T-Rex just looks so damn awesome. Even better the majority of the sequence is done with Winston’s life size animatronic Rex. While the CGI T-Rex looks good, the robot is just so damn impressive. Gennaro runs away, the Rex proceeds to try to eat the little kids, Grant distracts, Malcom distracts it but not as well, and of course we get the classic lawyer eaten off the toilet bit. The T-Rex attack is just too cool and is basically my favorite part of the film.

Eye-of-the-Rex-1024x552 by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
You're a lying SOB if this bit didn't scare you when you were a kid..also, I now need to change my pants.

Arnold manages to go through the computer realizing Nedry has screwed everything up. While Ellie and Muldoon go to get the people on the tour Nedry is having his own problems. Apparently he didn’t Google Map directions to the dock nor did he do well in Drivers’-ED. After driving off the road he then tries to get the jeep unstuck but is met by a Dilophosaurus. We’ve got some more dinosaur errors here as the Dilophosaurus is too small (though I might chalk it up to being a youngster) and it has its bony frill along with spitting venom (the frill is especially bad as they’d of found the fossil evidence for it). However I do like the idea that they were willing to give the dinosaurs some animal abilities that people just normally don’t think of with dinosaurs, such as being poisonous (side note, in Lost World Crichton had Carnosaurus with chameleon like abilities, very cool).  It also apparently is as smart as a Velociraptor or can phase shift like Shadowcat, because after Nedry gets spat in the eyes; the dino is somehow in the car with him ready to eat Newman.

Picgifs-jurassic-park-0411311 by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Oh man, once I make this deal, I'll be able to get that new job as Michael Jordan's agent! 

As Newman meets his demise, Grant gets Tim and Lex settled after snagging the former out of a tree and reassuring the latter who is rightfully terrified out of her mind. There’s some good banter between Grant and Tim during the tree scene which I like. However Spielberg knows the rule of cool and thus Grant talking to kids is of course not as cool than another T-Rex attack. Here’s where we kind of get the flip side to my love of seeing the mechanical Rex. Ellie, Muldoon, and a wounded Malcom have to beat it when the T-Rex comes back to its paddock. This leads to an awesome chase sequence which shows how good the CGI T-Rex looked and how well they integrated it into the live action. The trio avoids being eaten and after a good Malcom quip, Grant and his charges climbs a tree for the night.

Jurassic park t rex chasing jeep by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
This may be nightmare fuel but...I'd still want to ride this

Grant builds a bit with the kids as they watch some Brachiosaurs munching away. It’s interesting that Grant tosses his Raptor claw away in this scene. The thing he used to scare a kid at the beginning of the movie, now discarded as he becomes a bit more parental with these kids. Who knows maybe I’m reading too much into it but I like the scene. Hammond is trying to drown his sorrows in ice cream back at the Visitor Center. Ellie talks with him as Hammond laments the damage done to his dream. Again I like the more whimsical Hammond here as opposed to the asshole from the book. While at first he’s convinced that the problems of Jurassic Park can be fixed, he learns his lesson quickly as he talks with Ellie. For the rest of the film he gets that the dream is dead.

Amber cane by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
But John Hammond's heart grew three sizes that day! 

After a morning wake up by the sauropods, and some snot in the face to Lex, everyone is moving forwards with their plans. Grant is leading the kids back to the Visitor Center and as they’re walking discovers the dinosaurs are breeding. The point is underwhelming to be honest. In the novel, the discovery (made earlier in the book by Malcom) has a far greater impact since it’s an important story point. In the film it’s largely just a way for Grant to say, ‘hey that annoying guy hitting on my girlfriend was right!’  While Grant discovers dino babies, Arnold is explaining that their computer glitch is no easy fix. Hammond though focusing on Ellie’s message it’s time to stop worrying about the damn park and save lives; tells Arnold to do what many a frustrated technology user has done. Turn it on and off. So Arnold does just that, clearing the memory but also setting everything to default. Which leads to one small problem, while Nedry had disabled a lot of the security, not all of it was gone. Now everything is off and we shall see why that’s a problem shortly.

Jurassic-Park Stampede-UniversalPictures by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Come on kids, we need to escape these Gallimimus, I totally recognized them I was just testing you Tim! 

Grant meanwhile gets to nearly be run over by a herd of Gallimimus. This leads to the dumb moment for Grant who, being the world renowned paleontologist (they call him a dinosaur expert!)…has to ask the ten year old kid what kind of dinosaurs they’re seeing. Anyway they run from the dinosaurs and take cover just in time for the T-Rex to have another awesome moment. Ambushing a stray Gallimimus, the Rex tears into it and tells anyone who says T-Rex was a scavenger to piss off! (the views of the T-Rex do not represent the views of this review, nor do I endorse or condemn the T-Rex’s view…because if I did latter she’d eat me.) I love how Grant and Tim think it’s as awesome as I do while Lex takes the reasonable course and says, uhh can we get the hell out of here?

JurassicPark-TRex-04 by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
The T-Rex never had to address the issue of 'where's the beef'

Back in the emergency bunker, things aren’t peachy. Seems Mr. Arnold has been gone a long time and Ellie knowing the rule of horror/monster movies figures that’s a bad sign. Muldoon finally having enough of all this crap, grabs a gun and plans to go with Ellie to get the power turned on. Now remember when I said Nedry hadn’t turned off everything well the restart did and guess whose pen is now open? That’s right it’s time for the Raptors’ portion of the film. While Muldoon tries to draw them off, Ellie bolts for the power room. Grant and the kids reach the perimeter fence at the same time and begin climbing it. Ellie working with John Hammond and Malcom tech support, is able to start turning the power back on. Muldoon though doesn’t get to finally shoot a dinosaur, probably because Spielberg was starting his aversion to guns at the time, so he gets ambushed and eaten.

Scenes-from-jurassic-park-part-5-jurassic-park-234 by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Little did Muldoon know, someone took all his shotgun shells and replaced them with cotton balls.

While Lex and Grant had been able to climb the fence, Tim took his time apparently and now he’s in danger of getting fried. I’ve got to say I don’t quite feel the tension this scene is supposed to have as it kind of distracts from the dino action with Ellie. Tim gets zapped as the power comes back on, and Ellie finds out what happened to Mr. Arnold. He apparently had a disagreement with a Raptor who in one of the good scares of the movie comes out of a bunch of cables trying to eat her head. Again the Winston animatronic and puppet Raptors look great. I really love it when it’s clinging to the fence trying to get at Ellie. While she makes her escape, Grant and his wards (I don’t get to use that word enough) arrive at the Visitor Center.

Jurassic-Park by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Tim, what's that dinosaur? It's a 
Baryonyx. What about that one? That's a Triceratops, Dr. Grant do you actually know anything about Dinosaurs? What's this? That's a Raptor eating your guts.  

Grant leaves the kids in what of course shall become an obvious perilous situation so he can find some adults. He finds Ellie who’s pretty much terrified after (I presume) being chased by Raptors. The nimble little dinos have also tracked down the kids, appearing in a very cool shadow overlay shot of an artistic Raptor with the real one. Lex takes charge here trying to hide Tim and herself in the kitchen. The Raptors move about in a mix of puppetry and CGI in a way that has always reminded me of my brothers. The kids manage to defeat the Raptors with a little trickery, which I like. As the series went on the Raptors’ abilities and intelligence was seriously wanked. I liked the idea that while they are the smartest dinos in Jurassic Park, they still can be outsmarted by humans (I mean we did land on the Moon after all….wait a minute! [GRABS RECORDER] Raptors, Moonbase, Karen Gillan in skin tight space suit, BOX OFFICE BRILLANCE!)

Jurassic169-0 by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Raptor Di and Raptor Dumb

After screaming I need an adult, the kids find Ellie and Grant who finally has himself a gun (hope it goes better for him than Muldoon). They rush to the control room where Ellie for some reason knows how to start the computer. I’m just complaining about this as she has demonstrated no such technical skills earlier in the film. Of course a Raptor shows up and we get probably the dumbest scene of the movie. Ellie has to help hold the door, Tim is apparently too afraid of guns to hand it to the adults, and Lex finally shows her magic ‘hacking’ powers and turns everything back on. Everyone is happy except for Grant who calls and talks to Hammond like he’s a kidnapper or something (seriously this has always bugged me, watching this. Give me ten million dollars or I’ll have your kids in a pointless cameo in the sequel!). That pesky Raptor though isn’t going to miss out on a chance to eat Ellie’s legs, so it decides to jump through the glass.

Jurassic Park raptors by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Tim was so traumatized by this he ran off and joined the Marines in 1944

Grant tries to shoot it but Spielberg again strikes, jamming his gun and showing no effect of the bullets on the Raptor. The humans make their escape into the ceiling panels, though I laugh at Grant knocking the ladder aside as if to say, ‘ah ha! Now you can’t follow us!’ Well apparently he forgot the Raptors uhh can jump. After a super heavy symbolism scene (you know it when you see it), the Raptor pops its head in lifting Lex up and gets kicked in the head a bunch by Grant. The group scrambles to the main hall where the dino skeletons are only to find more Raptors waiting for them. They jump on the dino bones as does the Raptor which eventually brings the whole skeleton crashing down.

2d0dime by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Yeah John, sure just put all the stuff on my leg. It's not like a Tyrannosaur bit it or anything. 

Now we hit the climax of the movie, Grant, Ellie, and the kids; trapped by advancing Raptors. Had the movie ended the way it was supposed to, I don’t think people might have made as much of a certain character. Sure they were cool and had a great scene but it’s here that they earn their legendary status. The Motherfucking T-Rex (and yes I’m using that Nostalgic Critic!) comes in and chomps down on one of the Raptors. It’s as glorious and epic as it sounds. As the other Raptor attacks the Rex, Grant and the others make their escape. Hammond drives up with Malcom and Grant delivers the quip to end the film. But who cares about that we need more T-Rex!!!!!! The Raptor rips up the Rex’s side some more but Queen Rex is going to put the bitchy Raptor in her place. She bites the Raptor’s tail, pulls it forwards, crunches with her mouth, and then THROWS THE RAPTOR INTO THE REMAINING DINO SKELTON!  Cue a Godzilla worthy roar of victory as the banner, WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH falls.

JP-WhenDinosaursRuled by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
I AM THE QUEEN BITCH OF THIS ISLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The film ends with Hammond taking a last furlong look at the end of his dream while Ellie sees Grant has settled into his parental role. Letting the exhausted kids sleep on him. Cue more awesome John Williams score and that’s it.

DVDPlay 2009-05-06 16-12-32-63 by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Ironically enough, the lawyer actually lived in the book. Guess Crichton hated publicists more than lawyers, for Spielberg its the opposite. 

Jurassic Park
is one of my childhood favorite films. It still is in many ways as I’ve hopefully made clear. Spielberg went all out to bring JP from the book to screen. This is different than say, World War Z another favorite novel of mine. WWZ has about one thing in common with the novel that gave it life, there are zombies in it. None of the themes, storytelling, or magic of that book; which I seriously enjoy, is left in the film. Max Brooks not having a hand in the story lead it to suffer on screen. Crichton’s work on the screenplay shows and the film is made better for it. In addition I just think Spielberg ‘got’ what Jurassic Park should be about. While not having all the same story points, it has the same theme or spirt of the novel. I find it’s a worthy example of how to adapt the story from page to screen.

Jurassic-P-Saving-Creme-3-w by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Tell me what was worst Wayne Knight? Being eaten by the dinosaur or being defeated by the basketball aliens in Space Jam?

The effects while never a substitute for storytelling do complete this film. Without Stan Winston’s creations and the excellent CGI work of ILM, Jurassic Park would probably not be as epic as it was. A lot of effort was put not just into the dinosaurs looks; but to make sure they came across as animals and not movie monsters (mostly). Animators studied animal movement, while Paleontologist Jack Horner advised the film with the latest theories (of the time) about dinosaurs. The dinosaurs even all got unique sounds which made them stand out. (I consider the T-Rex’s roar to be as classic as Godzilla’s now). John Williams’ score is another of his masterpieces. The theme music of Jurassic Park is classic while the dangerous and more exciting pieces add to the drama on screen. Even the turn the computer back on scene which I wasn’t thrilled with, is made more exciting thanks to the music.

Jurassic-park-4-canceled by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
BTW the novel Lost World goes out of its way to say how dumb of an idea that the T-Rex could only see movement is. So Lex and Grant you should have been eaten (ok just Lex cuz she's screaming all the time)

In a way I wish
Jurassic Park had stood on its own. Lost World, while I like it better than most do, still isn’t as good as the original. The less said about JP III the better. Though I’m conflicted as I mentioned, Jurassic World seems to be doing its damnest to be a worthy successor. I hope it succeed especially as the lack of mention of the T-Rex (supposedly the same one from Jurassic Park) in much of the trailers, leads me to believe that this Simpsons quote is going to come into play,

Jurassic-9 by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
For Jurassic World, the T-Rex's agent not only got their star a fully equipped trailer, but every Godzilla movie ever made, a steady supply of goats and lawyers to eat, and a photo shoot for Vanity Fair (sorry Catilyn Jenner but the VF people were afraid of being eaten.)

“But Marge, that guy hasn’t done anything yet…and when he does you know it’s going to be cool!”

For one of my favorites when I was a kid,

Score: 10/10 

Jurassic-park-castwhat-ever-happened-to-the-cast-o by Mad-Man-with-a-Pen
Lex upon hearing her grandpa wants them to visit....Dollywood! 


Mad-Man-with-a-Pen's Profile Picture
Supergirl Otaku
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
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I'm just a guy who enjoys science fiction, superheroines, sleepy stories, beautiful ladies, and combining all those into fun stories. You'll find a mix of classic heroines like Supergirl, Ms. Marvel, Batgirl, Spider-Woman; scifi heroines like Amy Pond & Clara Oswin; DA characters; and some original characters of my own. Sure they tend to run into trouble, get knocked out, tied up, and placed in peril, but they always come out ahead in the end....usually LOL.

Anyway its all in good fun, thanks for stopping by!

Proflie Pic, Melissa SG, from 'Supergirl'


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AzureVirgo Featured By Owner 1 day ago
Many thanks again for the favs :)
Mad-Man-with-a-Pen Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
Of course dude!
AzureVirgo Featured By Owner 2 days ago
Thank you for the fav :)
Mad-Man-with-a-Pen Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Of course dude, awesome Silhouette piece :)
AnyaStorm Featured By Owner 6 days ago
Thanks for fav Miss Silouhette
Mad-Man-with-a-Pen Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
NP like the design and powers she has.
AnyaStorm Featured By Owner 5 days ago
and she is a terrible opponent 
ronin-gh0st Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the :+fav: on my commission! Check out kachima's gallery for more awesome stuff like that(if you haven't already). 
BlackCatSerasu Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2015
Thnaks for the faves, glad you like their looks :D
Mad-Man-with-a-Pen Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
NP I've liked all the designs dude look forward to seeing them in stories
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